[7/30/06] Operation Racoon Bye-Bye
Thanks Orangeride.com

My father pulled me aside and said: "Listen J, I don't give a shit if you have people over. Just don't mess with the raccoon. I'm telling ya, he'll get out and tear the house to pieces!"

You see, this raccoon has infested our chimney for months now. I wouldn't normally mind, but the entire house reeked of raccoon piss and the little cullion made so much racket, you'd think he was running some kind of brothel in there. Anyways, what the hell would I want with a stinky 'coon? But then again, what did I want with that fresh road kill back in 4th grade? [more]

[7/25/06] Subatomic Media Returns!

One change to note: song links now go to Napster (when available), where you can hear or purchase the album or song. You may need to register after a few listens, but it's worth it. [more]

[7/18/06] 100 Beers before Sunday

‘Twas the night before Sunday, and all threw Dave’s house.
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

The keg was tapped by the house with care
In hopes that a flying keg stand would soon happen there.

The guys started showing up with caps on there heads;
While the women had visions of naked men in their beds.

With Diffata in his Hawaiian and I in my Onyx,
We had just settled down to smoke some mad chronic;

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter. [more]

[7/14/06] Special Ex - The Beginnings
The '27 Yankees. The'85 Bears. the 2004 Cuban Special Ex Olympic team.

Many great franchises are born inconspicuously enough. For instance, in 1989 the Dallas Cowboys traded Herschel Walker to the almighty Minnesota Vikings for 5 players, cash incentives, and 1st, 2nd, and 3rd round picks in the next three years. Sounds like a pretty fair deal, huh? Well, as it turns out the Cowboys used those picks to draft and trade themselves into position to acquire a few guys of their own. You may have heard of the following: Emmett Smith, Troy Aikman, Michael Irvin, Charles Haley, Russell Maryland, Darren Woodson, Deion Sanders. [more]